You have wondered it. I have wondered it. I think my dog has wondered it. Why are we here? Here on this very ground that keeps us from falling through to another continent. I could list 100 questions, such as why were placed in the family we're in? Why do we have certain health issues? Why were we born one race and not another? Why don't we have wagging tails to swat innocent people in line at Petco? Why was I not given the super power to read minds like my cat seems to do?
  Pick your question. ANY question. Now think of this... just as refrigerator magnets say, "You are right where you are supposed to be."
  Oh yeah? Well who says? Whomever you want, God, The Universe, the cat whom you are convinced is an alien. I won't hide that I am a Christian, but I do not care what YOU are, as my reader YOU MATTER. 
  Look I just brought up another point. YOU MATTER. You could write a kind blog comment and inspire me, which is how this very post came to life. You can say kind words to someone you work with and it can completely change their outlook. I remember one time when someone told me, "You are going to be doing this job, very well, for a very long time," and I try never to forget that. Today my boss said very kind words to me and kind of put her walls down for a moment to compliment me. I have been on cloud nine for hours now. That then encouraged me to try ten times harder than I already am.
  You were put here maybe to be THE MOTHER to YOUR child, no other child and no other mother. You may be the firefighter that saves a life, and that saved person's 5th great grandchild cures a horrible disease. YOU. JUST. DON'T. KNOW. And you know what? You may never.
  What I can tell you for sure is that when I look back on my life, the good, bad, ugly, and insane it is a beautiful tapestry woven together that has made up my life, and my thumbprint on the world. I wonder what my ancestors would think if they knew what I do for a living is not work to me, that I do work very hard, but it is with my heart. I wonder what my great grandmother would think of my cooking, since everyone says I cook just like her, but I wouldn't know.
If it weren't for you, who would have that sweet dog, cat, bird, or alligator in the bathtub?
  You must know even in mundane times, and those horrible times of conflict, you are learning lessons and you are right where you are meant to be. You are given anything you need to work with, and you *can* say a prayer for help to receive divine intervention. Don't be surprised if you "feel" a prayer goes unanswered. But wait! There is no such thing. Sometimes we just don't get the answer we want. Sometimes no answer is His answer.
  You must also relish in the good times, the laughter, the friends and family. Do not forget basking in the glory of sunshine, or pure wet rain. Listening to just how happy the birds sound, and how beautiful the flowers are. Sappy I know, but speaking of sap where do you think that yummy real maple syrup comes from? 
  Thank heavens for your trials because without them you'd be a sniveling little wench with their nose stuck in the air. Who knows, maybe you do have your nose in the air and you need someone to hit you instead of the pinata at the next hispanic birthday party you attend. Then POOF! There's a lesson for life. Keep your nose out of the air. Keep your eyes and ears open. Remember what you feel is not always what is so. Know that everyone else is On The Edge and is not dwelling on you and your happenings nearly as much as you are, they have their own ordeals. Don't be so conceited that you waste a day and then a nights sleep worried that someone thinks a certain way about you because within no time at all, they've moved on from the thought, so don't spend hours having a pity party.
  Instead lets all focus on the good. From small to large, the things we say and do can impact someone for life. Don't ever forget that, whatever you do. Try every day to go out of your way, to let someone know just how special they are, remember how good it feels when someone does that for you. You may not on this earth know why exactly your here, and if you don't thats a darn good thing. It means you're here for a million reasons.
Anyone who knows me knows I love to find funny pictures and put them on my Facebook page. I've come across hundreds that deal with the subject of "karma."

   Now while "My Name Is Earl" is one of my favorite shows ever, I have to talk about this whole karma thing. It started as part of a religion (not mine) and has evolved into this delicious mental thought of "You were a meanie head to me and karma is going to find you and do something ten times worse and I'm going to get to sit back and laugh!"

  I have to say I skip all the karma-drama. If you want to know what I think, its that good and bad things happen to all of us. So yes, if I park too close to a car and they can't get in, but I was oblivious, chances are its going to happen to me at some point. I'm just a lot meaner and leave notes on people's windshields saying "Didn't your momma teach you any manner you no good piece of $%^#??!!"

  No matter how mad you've made me, how much you hurt me, how stupid you were to my family or friends, how badly you ruined my years, I DO NOT WISH FOR KARMA TO COME BITE YOU. That's just me. Chances are you're going to have really mean and stupid crap happen to you, just like you made it happen to me, and I don't want to be the one who stoops to that level and condones "the universe" to come dump bird poop in your eye.

  Plus as TOTALLY catty as I can be, I can get over however you treated me, because I realize what you've done to me is YOUR problem not mine. You're the insecure one, or the one who talks behind my back because you're not big enough to find out who I really am. If you're downright stupid, chances are something stupid has happened to you many times to make you that way. In the future stupid things will probably keep happening to you, and you know what? Stupid things are going to keep happening to me.

  So cheat on me, lie to me, cuss me out, steal from me, etc but I'm not stooping to the level of stating "I hope karma comes and beats your over the head." Because bad luck WILL happen to you, just like no matter how good I *try* to be bad luck is going to happen to me.

  So if and when I say something catty, or truthful that comes across as rude, I simply mean it, and its something you should know. If I don't like you for some reason I have the guts to explain why if you so wish to know. I'm not going to sit back and pray to some non existent karma spirit to come bonk you on the head. I'm way bigger than that, plus I wouldn't wish bad things on my worst enemy.


So you've all wondered and asked what it is that this "CHICK" does all day. Yes I post funny and inspirational pictures all over facebook. Yes I post funny things on other people's blogs, vlogs, facebooks and argue with people I don't know on Twitter. Alas! I do have a real life going on, I'm just super great at social media, multi-tasking.
  I have another name I go by when I'm doing my daily thing. Oh, what's my daily thing? I am a hair stylist and makeup artist. I make people even more beautiful, or handsome than they already are. I have another name I go by, which is my middle name, because a long time ago I started at a salon and someone had my first name. It was the perfect opportunity to go by my middle name, which believe it or not, is NOT "Chick." HA HA HA
  My other name puts me into career mode. Its my second out of four personalities. Now I shall explain why I LOVE what I do and why I have never worked a day in my liife.
  It started by cutting my kindergarten friends bangs when they were in their eyes. I never got in trouble so I must have done a good job. I was lucky enough to take cosmetology in high school so I was two years ahead of everyone. I never had to wonder what I wanted to be when I grew up. I innately KNEW.
  I greet someone. I bring them to my chair and let them know that the 10 ft square space around us is "ours" and I am there to please them. I take the time to analyze what they say they need and want, and then give them professional advice. I then begin my magic. 
  I THRIVE on when people look at themselves and feel great. I love to put the focus on the person who is my walking work of art. When I'm finished, and they absolutely GLOW with happiness, my whole world is brightened. 
  During the service though, I am what I like to think as a good conversationist. I get people to open up to me, tell me their life story, favorite recipes, rants about their life and hair. I become a life coach along with their stylist. The bonding between a guest of mine and me as their stylist is unlike anything in this world. 
  I have so, very many clients I miss from my previous life and state of residence. I realize all the people I didn't get to hug goodbye and I had thought I'd never had the kind of client bonding like I did there. But as I miss someone, and wish I could have said goodbye, I meet someone great. A teenager getting an awesome, super cool hair style that makes her look grown up. A rocket scientist (LITERALLY I WORK BY NASA) a stay at home mom who needs to talk to an adult not children. I get to see some of my best friends EVER and do their hair. So as much as I miss some folks, I have so many new people that are being brought into my life.
  Amongst the bonding, the chatting, I am educating people on their hair and their hair care or their makeup. Why wouldn't I LOVE to talk about the thing I love most in this world, (besides writing) ? I give people tips and quips that they never knew. Another stylist never took the time to let them in on the secrets.
 Not to mention how often does that single lady get her head massaged? How often does the teen feel so good about themselves, because they are just stuck and trying to grow up and figure out who they are? How often does the 70 year old man have someone trim his eyebrows and ear hair, because his wife passes away and is no longer there to do it.
 I could write forever about why I love these things I do all day. I am the luckiest career chick in the world.

Miranda Lambert has always been an artist I liked. Not crazy infatuated with or anything but we blonde chicks with guns must stick together.
Yes guns.
The story is music artist Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend Rhianna a few years ago. And now the dude has won a grammy that somehow made his head swell. Miranda did exactly what I would do and made a poster for one of her concerts right after the Grammy's saying "Take Notes Chris Brown" and proceeded to sing "Gun Powder and Lead" a song about a woman's man making bail after he "slapped her face and shook her like a rag doll."
  I never knew a celebrity twitter war would make me so mad. The dumb guy and all of his stupid fans just don't get it. If AMERICA had a legal system that considered a restraining order valid, more than a stupid piece of paper, if the cops would come when called, if the police and detective and judges even believed women and understood what we have to defend ourselves from we women wouldn't need to have a gun. 
  But lucky for me, I am a blonde chick like Miranda who had a daddy who taught her how to RESPECT and use a gun. I will never point it at you unless I intend to use it. Im sorry but if you're going to abuse me, or dare to break into my house, you're not leaving my sight until you're bleeding so badly and laying on the ground, and I'm standing over you yelling "YOU'RE RUINING MY CARPET DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  So the stupid people on Twitter who decided to bash ME for bashing Chris Brown can learn better vocabulary words, and leave me alone. I will pray for them that someone never tries to abuse them. I also pray they find a thesaurus with the f bomb, the d and s words, etc or that their brain expands enough. Because while I can say to them "You need to grow up and realize the abuse women go through you piece of coyoote dung on the bottom of my shoe," all they can say is "I hate you I hope you die."  
 Real mature huh? Its people like them, that people like me need a gun to protect myself from. The police don't just magically appear like your fair god-mother. Not that she exists anyways, and if they think so thats a whole other blog. 
  So this is how I got involved in the twitter war, and totally took Miranda Lambert's and women's side. Now I have better things to do, like figuring out how to get my license to carry.

So here's the scoop.
Short Post.
I desire to go on a vacation that chases tornadoes.
I am fascinated by them and when one is on tee-vee I say "OHHHHHH HOW PRETTTTTYYYYYY"

Dixie's Life

I feel I must write about my best friend. Yes she's black with four legs and fur. You see, a few years ago when I lived farther up in the U.S. I had friends set up refugee camp at mi casa from a hurricane Gustav that hit Louisiana. I didn't think my 1800 sq. ft. town home coupld support a large dog, even though I'd always dreamed of a black lab. My friends brought two dogs, one very large and I realized the day they left that I wanted a big dog!
   Now a friend of my mothers had puppies. Black Lab / German Shepherd. I proceeded to go there and all 9 looked the same. One in particular would not leave me alone. She wanted to be cuddled and held. I didn't WANT a girl dog, but finally I looked at her and said "FINE THEN. Lets go to Petco."  
  She rode in the basket and picked out her own items. At 6 months crate training was over and she began sleeping in bed with me and the ex monster. The EX had a habit of staying up late (probably on dating websites) and then coming to bed and waking me up at 3 am to rub Ben-Gay on his back. This particular night was no different until at 5 am I hear Dixie Dog howling from downstairs. I had no idea why she was back in her crate till I let her out. THEN IT ALL CAME BACK TO ME.
  In my sleep I sat up and squirted a GIGANTIC hand full of Ben Gay into my hand. The Now Ex left the room. I remember thinking, "Oh I bet Dixie needs this..." and proceeded to massage it into her. Her hips, her neck, her back etc. Then EX came in shirtless and I put some on him and I passed back out.
  So my cousin who was living with us at the time found me and Dixie in her bathroom in the bath tub and I was laughing SO hysterically I couldn't even get the words out to tell said Cousin what I had done.
    And Dixie still loves me. And there will be plenty more Dixie stories if y'all like em!
‎"You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone" STRONGER - Kelly Clarkson

What's it feel like to be a woman of 31 years and single? Am I alone? Sure as in I don't have a verbal or legal contract that I belong to someone... but I'm not ALONE. You see I have the best friends and family money can buy. Yes I had to buy them all but it was worth it. 
  But let's be honest, a guy will pay attention to any 25% decent looking blonde girl. So every day something absolutely BIZAAR happens to me. It could be the two guys in the pick up truck screaming "HEYYYYYY GIRL!!!!!" at me and trying to catch up with me at every red light, and me looking at them like they're complete idiots and were in 5th grade when I graduated high school. It could be the car salesman. Oh he was a doozie. Lemee tell ya. I stopped at a Chevy dealership. I was really, honestly just had to pee so bad I thought I was going to DIE, so I made my mother act like she was looking at cars while I saved my own life. I came outside and was looking at this super-hot-cool red Camaro. I love them but not enough to ever buy one even though they are super-cool-hot cars. The salesman who may have been good looking if he didn't have the "salesman attitude" approached.
  "Want me to get the keys? We can take it for a ride?"
  "You came all the way out here and all you want to do is look in the windows?"
  "Oh you just THINK you can't buy a car. You would be surprised! We have so many companies anyone can buy a car!"
  ME: "no thank you, yes I just wanted to look, and then I JUST GOT DIVORCED, HE RUINED MY CREDIT, AND I DON'T HAVE A JOB"

Car  Salesman, picks his jaw up off the ground after I've practically yelled at him and he realizes I am the one person who's life is so messed up she can't buy a car. He speaks... "Sounds like someone needs to take you to dinner and a movie!:
Then I in my lovely sarcastic manner say "And I supposed you think you're that someone?? >smile<"
"My number is on that card I gave you. Thats my personal cell. Call me anytime! Please! REALLY!"
  Okay how bout I call you when Im out of coffee. Please sir go get me some coffee. I'll be in my pajamas and I'll open the front door, stick my hand out and then slam the door, while yelling "THANK YOU" thru the door. No you won't get to see me. Let me just use you.

  I don't have time to get into too much of the ex boyfriends. The one from high school who swears he never stopped loving me and cries on the phone to me then the next day has a girlfriend and its all over facebook. Its okay because while you were crying on the phone I had you on speaker for my best friend to hear, while we laughed until it hurt. The other ex boyfriend from age 17 who has never gotten over me and when I encounter him at events he flirts with me like crazy even as I'm cold as the iceberg the Titanic hit. So please don't call me and tell me "you dont like the way I acted towards you and it made you angry."  WHAAAAAT???? I was nice. I didn't punch your face in when you tried to kiss me. I walked off instead of making your face purple. There's an ex husband who professes his undying, ever true love for me. That it will never waiver. Yeah okay, thats why you treated me like dog poop on the bottom of your shoe and you've already been living with someone else and lying to her for 6 months. 
  You get the general idea. So I can't go anywhere or do anything without some MAN trying to tell me things that are all fake and stupid. 
Will a REAL honest one ever come along?
Wanna know my answer?
"I Dont Really Care."
They'll probably just end up a jerk face like the others. Hey though, I've realized I am so much happier without some miserable person in my life and I can do anything I want. Like a roadtrip this weekend with my best friend. THAT I am sure will have a blog post! WOOOOOO!!!!!!

First more coffee. Hold please.

Mmmm. Frito's are good.

Okay so here's my deal for the day. The world is facing so many problems. Sickness, poverty, natural disasters, man made disasters, hunger, terrorism, war, I could go on and on. But you know what? We all still have our own problems? And you know what else? Mine are getting a little too big to handle. I feel like a whiny baby but don't you have issues that just make you want to pull your hair out?
   I'm starting over. Back home, in a different state after twelve years of being away. I didn't think it would be THIS DARN HARD to find a job. I want to walk into these places and say "Don't you realize who I am?!" Because dang it I AM SOMEBODY. I am a really big deal. I've worked with people that are a HUGE deal and made them very happy. However I work in a very snobby, click-ish industry. I'm not know for what I do in this town. If someone would just make some phone calls, look at my portfolio and trust me and let me do my thing and leave me alone I could flourish like you wouldn't believe.
  I honestly feel like a looser. Im going to be blatantly honest here. Some days..... I can't get dressed. I make phone calls, I submit resumes, I email, etc but the thought of this big wide world just brings me down, because this big wide world has caused me such TURMOIL for the past six years. 
  Wow. That was an epiphany if I've ever had one. They say when you write things come out, and here I am, just writing from my gut. I'm honestly stunned at myself. I have gotten scared of this world. The sad part is being OUT IN THIS WORLD is what makes me the happiest. I can sit here all day and try and be productive, but simply going to the store lifts my spirits. Yet a lot of days I can't motivate myself to get out the door.
  Meanwhile I need to bleach my roots. SURPRISE!!!!!!! Chick here isn't a natural blonde. Im what you consider a "dark blonde" so I don't feel so bad telling the world that I have to lighten this dark hair thats grown in. Can I mention how much grey hair has popped up in the last year, and Im 31?! 
  If I had to give advice to someone who was in my exact situation I'd say this. "Go mix up that bleach and make your hair pretty because it looks like crap. Go through that pile of clothes you can't hang up and hang them up. Get ready for tomorrow, print your resumes and write down every place you want to go, in order. Buff those stupid finger nails you've bitten off because you work with your hands and you know you enjoy having long nails so take care of them. Give yourself a face mask and use that clothes steamer to steam your face. Make yourself pretty and productive. There thats it. GET IT? Pretty and Productive. Do the pilates DVD you love that will get your spirit happy and make you feel like you've been to the chiropractor. Tonight go to dinner at your friends and watch funny tv or a movie. Don't let your mother stay too long when she comes over because you know she brings you down. Read your new book "Spirit Junkie" and learn to follow its principles instead of playing on facebook so much. DO THESE THINGS and get ready to hit the road running tomorrow. Act like you used to silly. Act as if this is YOUR world and YOU own it, because guess what? You DO own your world, and you have so much to offer to other people. So jump off that edge you're on and JUST DO IT."
   There. That's what I'd say to someone like me. I'd also say "Don't forget to commit AT LEAST one random act of kindness today, and do not forget to be nice to yourself."
   I think I'll go now, and take my own advice, because I'm really awesome at giving advice, so why don't I ever listen?
  I've always been the "count your blessings kind of girl. Trust me I still am. From big things to small , I count my blessing's. Right now I'm glad I have a warm heating pad and that I turned my heavy flannel shit - snuggie style - on my upper torso while my lap stays warm from the laptop and the blankets.
  A wise man told me that you can run from your problems but you can't hide. This is true. However I took a 300lb problem and shed that weight and he IS taking care of my second dog I got two years ago and she's with a new family who loves her, so there's a good thing to think of.
  So dear wise man, some of my problems did follow me and some I left long behind. I won't get into all of them, but when I look back at every single thing I have over come since I was 18 years old I can't do anything but pat myself on the back and be proud.
  There was the time I needed to hurry to a dance for senior year and I wore a strapless dress and I used acrylic nail glue to use 50 coats of adhesive to make my unmentionables "stay." The PAIN from taking them off was horrendous but luck for me I was in cosmetology and had legal strength acetone to remove the glue, with five layers of my skin. I lived though. 
  Every other day holds challenges. I wont touch on challenges of my career, except if 50 year old people are having a hard time finding work, why am I at 31 struggling so? 
  Your dog gets kennel cough, bills come up unexpectedly, you get sick and you're down for a week and when you do go back to work you can barely lift a finger. Thank the sweet lord for coffee and not allowing it ever to be illegal, even though its the worlds most widely used drug.
  People at banks can't help you. You work soooooooo hard to make a life for yourself and you have everything you need but love, and then spend that hard earned money taking care of everyone else because frankly, you're a good person, and well, you just want to be loved back.
  You wake up one day and see that none of that hard work matters. The home, the car, the savings etc. You put your clothes, your kitchenaid mixer, and your dog in the car and you drive away. YES you ARE loved, by your family, best friends, and above all God. 
  Then there's the fake people. The ones who use you, lie to you, cheat you out of things, and make false promises. This is when you do not get revenge, but you let them know back that you still love them. Maybe you won't let them back into your world, but you don't hate them and you forgive them. Hatred in our hearts only causes us pain. The other person can't feel it every day when a song comes on the radio or you get that letter in the mail that reminds you of them.
 Then you do stupid things like I did today. Pay for your groceries and get so excited about your Dr. Pepper, you walk away and leave all your groceries behind, with ten voice's yelling "Ma'am! Ma'am!" Upon asking "Do you need help?" as in with the groceries to the car, you SNAP and say "Not the kind of help YOU can give me!!!!"
   I supposed my point is every day, someone puts their dog to sleep peacefully. Someone has not many friends show up for a party. Someone's kid spill something in the car, afterward having a screaming match with their siblings.
  I think as human's we can all just get exhausted. This is how I got my name. Chick On the Edge. 
  Yet I must remind myself of the past things I've overcome that I can't even list to tell you now. Things we "think" we need, we don't. Look around your home at the piles of stuff you're not even using. If its not a book or a blanket its probably not a must have. 
  Just by all means, never, ever, ever, EVER let someone else ruin your outlook and feelings. If someone feels a certain way or not a certain way then FORGET THEM!! There are people out there who are genuine and you don't need the ones who are dirt bags.
  When I say I got my name, its most likely from too much coffee and the jitters and people I only encounter for a little while. Ultimately YOU choose, yes YOU, who you want to be in your life and who you don't. If you don't like a situation, change it as best as you can. There's always the same moon and stars hanging above us as we sleep each night, to sparkle, just like they have for centuries. No one comes unscathed and what we all deal with *does* make us who we are. Even if we wear pajamas and fuzzy slippers to Wal Mart at 10 pm or forget our groceries as we walk out of the store. Lean on the ones that love you, you know who they are, and if you have to question their love, move-the-heck-on. Hug your fur-babies, they ALWAYS love you unconditionally, especially when you feed 'em, and they don't talk back or tell you that you cant have the $72,000 red Corvette because you don't have a job.
   If you need a mental break, take one. Or you will break down, remember this too. Oh and don't forget there's nothing wrong with going to sleep at 7pm to awake to a night full of Nick At Nite and frozen pizza.
  As you may know, I'm a chick, and this is a chick related post. So if you're a guy and you don't want my insight, just click away now. If you want to know what women are really thinking then you may, (sigh) I suppose keep reading.
   I find myself back in my home that I grew up in. I am in my third decade of life, (mind you the beginning of it) and I am here because I have seen a lot of this world, experienced many things, met a lot of people, had a blast, and had one wretched, horrible, ghastly night where I threw a twelve foot lit and decorated Christmas tree.
  We won't focus on how I got back home, but this, "A Thousand Miles From Nowhere" as Dwight Yokam sang, is exactly where I longed to be. When I tell you I'm a thousand miles from nowhere, thats exactly what I mean, both figuratively and literally. A thousand miles from my home did I roam. A thousand miles from where I had ANYTHING good going for me.
  It took one last fight, where this time the anger in me equaled a nuclear bomb. After more stupidity for a couple of months (of course not on my part) I was officially free. My own car was sold for the good money it earned me, and I had all of my belongings packed into a stupid little (albeit new) car that I'd been making the payments on anyway. I call it stupid and little, which it is, because, well, someone stupid drove it and its little. But it was new and gets good gas mileage. And it got me home. All of my belongings that would fit and my best friend, my dog.
  Relationships begin with this fluttering feeling. You like someone. I remember these things as I type from the room I started sleeping in when we moved in when I was six. Ooooh you like a boy. Then you get older and hope the boy looks at you in the hallway, or better yet talks to you. That turns into nights of lazy summer time where you can stay up as late as you want, because you're too young to drive and have a job. You wait for the phone to ring, and thank goodness for call waiting, so you can talk to your best friend while you wait for the boy to call. What some of you never got to experience was life before caller i.d., boy was that fun! Call any guy you wanted and say anything you wanted and no one knew who you were. HeeHee! This was also when we wrote notes and had a friend pass them to a friend to get to you in school. I just thought I was cool because I had a pager in 7th grade. I learned later in life others thought I was cool too. (HA! Take that stupid bully girl who was mean to me and is now miserable in life)
  Oh yeah, back to the relationship thing. Fluttering. Will he call? Oh dear lord please let him call! You stay up all night with the phone so close to you, and if you're lucky enough that it does ring, guess what?? You let it ring two and a half, but not three, times before you answer. You sound non-chalant, but finally the two of you start talking and POOF you're in a relationship in a while.
  This ebb and flow my dears continues probably until we get married. I can say this because I am still watching some of my never-before-hitched friends go through it. 
   But marriage. Well for a lot of people you can tell its going to be great. The happy engagement party someone else throws is an excellent sign that people love the fact the two of your have chosen to be together. I didn't have one of those. The wedding, well the whole planning of that should be glorious, yes a little stressful because 200 people are dying to come and you want a fairy tale. I didn't have that either. 
  I had people tell me things like "What? You got engaged? Oh." and "Congratulations! That is wonderful! I love that tiny diamond chip you're wearing that he held on to for 4 years because you fought so much he wouldn't give it to you!" and the best "OH MY GOD. You're pregnant. You DO NOT have to get married because you're pregnant!!!"   (which is 100% true girls)            
  However I wasn't pregnant. I was stupid.

  So here I am, a thousand miles from no where. The tales of my good times I assure you will follow, but I wanted to touch on the whole relationship thing. Now after an abusive marriage relationships (for me at least) have gone more along the lines of "No guys at the gas station I will not give you my number. Yes I am a Cop AND in the Army" (I can't help it if they thought that. I have handcuffs hanging from my rearview mirror that my daddy gave me and my ex's son was in the army, hence the army emblems all over the car) It got me out of a situation of pestering though. Then there's the guys who pop up who are ex boyfriends or wanted to be, "You're the only girl I ever loved!!!" (Cheech did a song on an album about this one) (Yes, the Cheech from Cheech and Chong) Then that ex boyfriend bugs you for months and you push him away and he then finds some poor girl to date and posts pictures so ugly on his facebook you wish you could hurl but you're laughing too hard.
  Then come the sweet and true guys.The ones you don't think are left. The ones who have had their own relationships. Maybe have a kid or two. Maybe they're divorced or maybe haven't found "the one" to marry yet. The guys who you grew up with or the guy thats friends with your closest friends so you know they're "safe." 
  You still wait for the phone to ring girls. You still answer on ring two and half. In this day and age you wait at least two minutes before responding to a text. You still get angry if he hasn't said the right thing, but its more self loathing towards yourself than anger at the guy. But now you read books or watch movies about women who hit adulthood and have never been married and you're happy you don't feel that way. You've BEEN THERE, DONE THAT AND PISSED ON IT. 
  You're happy with a relationship in your life, and may be praying that its the one, the one where you finally found someone to grow old with. But you're also glad you're not being cussed at every day, amongst other things. You may have found the perfect partner but prior to that life wanted you to take a trip and have some experiences, or you wouldn't be who you were meant to be. 
  I must go now. I got a text message with a tone that is set for one person and its been more than two minutes. ;)