‎"You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone" STRONGER - Kelly Clarkson

What's it feel like to be a woman of 31 years and single? Am I alone? Sure as in I don't have a verbal or legal contract that I belong to someone... but I'm not ALONE. You see I have the best friends and family money can buy. Yes I had to buy them all but it was worth it. 
  But let's be honest, a guy will pay attention to any 25% decent looking blonde girl. So every day something absolutely BIZAAR happens to me. It could be the two guys in the pick up truck screaming "HEYYYYYY GIRL!!!!!" at me and trying to catch up with me at every red light, and me looking at them like they're complete idiots and were in 5th grade when I graduated high school. It could be the car salesman. Oh he was a doozie. Lemee tell ya. I stopped at a Chevy dealership. I was really, honestly just had to pee so bad I thought I was going to DIE, so I made my mother act like she was looking at cars while I saved my own life. I came outside and was looking at this super-hot-cool red Camaro. I love them but not enough to ever buy one even though they are super-cool-hot cars. The salesman who may have been good looking if he didn't have the "salesman attitude" approached.
  "Want me to get the keys? We can take it for a ride?"
  "You came all the way out here and all you want to do is look in the windows?"
  "Oh you just THINK you can't buy a car. You would be surprised! We have so many companies anyone can buy a car!"
  ME: "no thank you, yes I just wanted to look, and then I JUST GOT DIVORCED, HE RUINED MY CREDIT, AND I DON'T HAVE A JOB"

Car  Salesman, picks his jaw up off the ground after I've practically yelled at him and he realizes I am the one person who's life is so messed up she can't buy a car. He speaks... "Sounds like someone needs to take you to dinner and a movie!:
Then I in my lovely sarcastic manner say "And I supposed you think you're that someone?? >smile<"
"My number is on that card I gave you. Thats my personal cell. Call me anytime! Please! REALLY!"
  Okay how bout I call you when Im out of coffee. Please sir go get me some coffee. I'll be in my pajamas and I'll open the front door, stick my hand out and then slam the door, while yelling "THANK YOU" thru the door. No you won't get to see me. Let me just use you.

  I don't have time to get into too much of the ex boyfriends. The one from high school who swears he never stopped loving me and cries on the phone to me then the next day has a girlfriend and its all over facebook. Its okay because while you were crying on the phone I had you on speaker for my best friend to hear, while we laughed until it hurt. The other ex boyfriend from age 17 who has never gotten over me and when I encounter him at events he flirts with me like crazy even as I'm cold as the iceberg the Titanic hit. So please don't call me and tell me "you dont like the way I acted towards you and it made you angry."  WHAAAAAT???? I was nice. I didn't punch your face in when you tried to kiss me. I walked off instead of making your face purple. There's an ex husband who professes his undying, ever true love for me. That it will never waiver. Yeah okay, thats why you treated me like dog poop on the bottom of your shoe and you've already been living with someone else and lying to her for 6 months. 
  You get the general idea. So I can't go anywhere or do anything without some MAN trying to tell me things that are all fake and stupid. 
Will a REAL honest one ever come along?
Wanna know my answer?
"I Dont Really Care."
They'll probably just end up a jerk face like the others. Hey though, I've realized I am so much happier without some miserable person in my life and I can do anything I want. Like a roadtrip this weekend with my best friend. THAT I am sure will have a blog post! WOOOOOO!!!!!!

Debbie Osterhout
2/3/2012 01:03:34 pm

Sparkles, Never lose hope on love. I really believe in fate and I believe there is someone for everyone. I like to think good men are still out there, not sure where !!! However, I also think its okay to be unattached. Even though I'am a pretty happily married gal, you do sorta lose your indentity, and make a lot of compromises. Sad but true that a woman can hardly survive on her own, money wise. I'am from the older generation, we gals just assumed we would marry.I'am glad that women have more choices today and set higher standards for theirselves. Although still hard financially. I hope all will be GOOD for you no matter what life has in store for you.

2/18/2012 07:32:01 am

Thank you doll!!!! I don't know why Im just seeing this but you're precious. I agree whole-heartedly with what you say. My motivation is super high and my heart is open. I am happy and on my way to being fulfilled. :)


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