This post is directly related to the person *cough cough* who implied I may be a "glitterfied hillibilly." (please don't ask me now who it was, because I don't remember. I have taken this post from a note I put on my personal Facebook page. Probably in hopes they'd realize they may indeed get a butt-whoopin'."
Sit back and get something to drink, because I'm about to tell y'all a story.There was this one time, I had to be carried by the arms out of a bar. Now I'm not counting those other times when I stumbled out singing songs and acting goofy. I mean a time where I WAS GONNA KICK SOMEBODDY A$$ !!!!!!! I was visiting Houston, with my Momma, back when we lived in Nashville. We went out with a hige group of friends to see one of the bands that we know, play in some podunk bar. OF COURSE our dear friend in the band just has to announce that we were from Nashville. Off we go....
I danced with various friends, and other decent seeming guys that night. I always got the question, all 12 years that I was gone and would come back to visit, "Did you move to Nashville to be a country music star?????" In retrospect I should have just said yes, to seem really cool. Instead I told the truth and said "NO!!! You'd pay me NOT to sing. Im a hair stylist to the stars." One guy in particular was just GROSS. Im sorry. He was just GROSS. I turned down his offer to dance about 50 times. Well, a group of us get up to leave for the night, and I walk right past "Gross Guy" and he says "Go on and get out of here you DAMN HILLBILLY!!!!!!" *****THIS......****** This is when I LOST IT. I mean went bat crap CRAZY. I was going to stomp his scrawny butt into the ground. I KNOW what hillbillys are. They live in parts of Tennessee, West Virginia, Kentucky (sorry Deb) but they still have mulletts. A hillbilly doesn't go to the dentist. A hillbilly doesn't know the difference between "I was at the store and I saw balloons." compared to "I wuz down at the store and I seen some purty balloons and when I sucked the helium out of fifty of 'em baby it didn't compare to the feelin' I get when you stand in your mu-mu at the stove with curler's in your hair fryin' my breakfast baloney." There's just certain things that set a "hillbilly" apart. You dont have to be a hillbilly just because you live in a hillbilly state. No. You can choose otherwise. Like I did. Lived in Tennessee. Never did I allow myself to be sucked in to Hillbilly-land.
But the sheer fact, that this drunk, piece of doo-doo called ME!!!! - an educated, carrer oriented woman, who owned a house, had a nice car, took care of a whole family and KNEW HOW TO SPEAK PROPERLY, a hillbilly, just ate me me alive.
This is when two of my guy friends picked me up by the arms with my legs flailing in the air and carried me to the car. Now I will interject and tell anyone who ever asks, if you wish to call me a Redneck, so be it. I AM educated, and can speak properly, and have myself put together. Yet a redneck is a whole differeny species from a Hillbilly. I'm going to tell you what the Bellamy Brother's sang about "Redneck Girls." They like to ride around in Daddy's pick up truck. ( well yeah I do! ) She's got a kiss on her lips for her man an no one else. She wears her name on the back of her belt. (so? Its not a MULLETT trailing down my back) Then there are things like we wear cute girly dresses with our cowboy boots. We may complain about the price of gas but those boots DO cost over $200.00
I could go on and on. There's just a huge difference between a Texas Redneck and being called a "Damn Hillbilly" by someone who is totally wasted and doesn't even know I'm more of a Texan than he is. I don't have a couch on my front porch like these people in West Virginia do, and let little naked children (probably who have taken up residence at their dilapidated house, not even knowing if its one of theirs husbands 17 children, their own, or their their little brother who's their cousin, brother, AND their biological toddler, run around the BLOCK.
Call me a redneck. Sure. I have the state of Texas tatooed on my shoulder. I want us to secede from the US. I also want to run for Queen when we do. Not a whole lot matters to me more than my dog, and trying to get the government to make cream cheese and butter their own food groups. I'm a Daddy's girl. Blah blah blah. So sure. Call me the "R" word and I'll take it.
Call me a "Hillbilly" and I will get an andrenline rush like no other and go absolutely ape crazy on you.
Now about the glitter. This really has nothing to do with the subject, except, I was accused of being a glitterfied hillbilly. Pffffffttttt. "Gee let's tell her she's glittery and she won't get pissy" I personally, am obssesed with glitter, and I'm thinking of buying tons of glitter to decorate EVERYTHING I own, even my headboard, mini blinds, and my cat. So there you have a glitterfied redneck. But in noooooooooo way am I a hibilly. I become crazy when that accusation comes across me.
If you have questions, please leave a comment below. I'll give you a list of things that are acceptable to entitle me with. You should probably ask first unless you want a Five Foot Two blonde jumping on you with the strength of the Confederate Army.
Yes I KNOW the South lost the War. No. I do not fly a rebel flag. Yes, Gone With The Wind is the most worn out book in my house besides my bible. No. I don't care what race anyone is, just act normal and DONT CALL ME A HILLBILLY.