Driving through the mountains with The Best Friend, I was riding my brakes in my truck. If you looked out either window you could clearly see you were millimeters away from plummeting to your death, and that day I did not want to die.
Yes the brakes made a warning smell. Yes the brakes started to lock up. Yes, suddenly, the brakes wouldn't work. I pulled off as carefully as I could knowing that I was headed straight for the trees. Thank God there were some big trees.
So here we have a problem. We're 400 miles from home, on vacation, and I have no idea what to do about my brakes. But worse yet…. I HAD TO PEE. You will learn I pee a lot, and I am never embarrassed to talk about it. I couldn't think of anything for the past hour than I needed to find a bathroom. So The Best Friend, got in her luggage and got me a sock. Of course there was not a napkin to be found. I went down the mountain a little bit and peed for about 20 minutes straight. I wiped with the sock and littered. I threw the cotton sock down the mountain for the bears to find.
I come back to the truck and The Best Friend asks where her sock is. 'She wanted it back?!?!?!?!?!' Indeed. To this day she says I owe her a sock but no. Because once I bought some markers at Walgreens and got home and the coolest one was missing. A few months later in French class, just as I was befriending The Best Friend, she pulls the marker out of her bag and explains that is was the only one she wanted so she stole it!!!!! So there for I covered her sock in pee and threw it down the mountain.
Okay the pee part has been explained. No one was coming along what so ever. So I said a prayer. And POOF!!!! A grandfather and a grandson pulled over, checked it all out and got us to the main road. (Did I forget to mention we were lost?)
So. A guy, well 2, came and fixed it!
The Mother and I moved into an apartment one time together, leaving my home and moving 1,000 miles away. How on earth were we going to get our washer and dryer hooked up? It needed a part AND hooked up, and we certainly didn't know how to do it. Shut up men. You can't fold fitted sheets or refold a king sized comforter set and put it back in the bag perfectly like I can.
So. While we wondered what to do, we unpacked and did our thing. I ended up at the swimming pool, writing The Best Friend a letter, because I missed her. Here comes A GUY. Next thing I know, he's got my number, knows what apartment I'm in and 'He's madly in love and wants me to go meet his dying grandfather in the hospital because he's convinced he's going to marry me'
I had to be nice. So I played nice for a couple of days then sweetly asked for help with the washer and dryer. POOF!!!!!! DONE!!!!! HA! Beat that MOTHER! I don't see YOU finding guys all the time when we need things done.
There was another time that The Mother had a car problem. Guess who drove to the gas station and batted my eyelashes and brought A GUY back to fix the car.
I waited to break up with a guy until he put in an extra phone line, fixed our dishwasher, and changed a really high light bulb.
You all get the idea. I can just magically make guys appear who are more than willing to 'fix things' just to win a portion of my attention.
Okay so I use people. But don't you think for one minute I am mean and don't at least let them be seen in public with me on their arm.
Oh once we got a brand new free tv when I was in high school. (all of this started way early)
We stole a computer desk out of an vacant, left abandoned apartment, and a guy helped us get it home.
A couple of months ago I was picked up in the arms of a bouncer at a night club so I wouldn't have to step in a puddle. I kid you nay.
By now you should have a clear picture of how Chick gets things magically done. So I never worry when trouble arises, I just make a guy magically appear.