So you've all wondered and asked what it is that this "CHICK" does all day. Yes I post funny and inspirational pictures all over facebook. Yes I post funny things on other people's blogs, vlogs, facebooks and argue with people I don't know on Twitter. Alas! I do have a real life going on, I'm just super great at social media, multi-tasking.
I have another name I go by when I'm doing my daily thing. Oh, what's my daily thing? I am a hair stylist and makeup artist. I make people even more beautiful, or handsome than they already are. I have another name I go by, which is my middle name, because a long time ago I started at a salon and someone had my first name. It was the perfect opportunity to go by my middle name, which believe it or not, is NOT "Chick." HA HA HA
My other name puts me into career mode. Its my second out of four personalities. Now I shall explain why I LOVE what I do and why I have never worked a day in my liife.
It started by cutting my kindergarten friends bangs when they were in their eyes. I never got in trouble so I must have done a good job. I was lucky enough to take cosmetology in high school so I was two years ahead of everyone. I never had to wonder what I wanted to be when I grew up. I innately KNEW.
I greet someone. I bring them to my chair and let them know that the 10 ft square space around us is "ours" and I am there to please them. I take the time to analyze what they say they need and want, and then give them professional advice. I then begin my magic.
I THRIVE on when people look at themselves and feel great. I love to put the focus on the person who is my walking work of art. When I'm finished, and they absolutely GLOW with happiness, my whole world is brightened.
During the service though, I am what I like to think as a good conversationist. I get people to open up to me, tell me their life story, favorite recipes, rants about their life and hair. I become a life coach along with their stylist. The bonding between a guest of mine and me as their stylist is unlike anything in this world.
I have so, very many clients I miss from my previous life and state of residence. I realize all the people I didn't get to hug goodbye and I had thought I'd never had the kind of client bonding like I did there. But as I miss someone, and wish I could have said goodbye, I meet someone great. A teenager getting an awesome, super cool hair style that makes her look grown up. A rocket scientist (LITERALLY I WORK BY NASA) a stay at home mom who needs to talk to an adult not children. I get to see some of my best friends EVER and do their hair. So as much as I miss some folks, I have so many new people that are being brought into my life.
Amongst the bonding, the chatting, I am educating people on their hair and their hair care or their makeup. Why wouldn't I LOVE to talk about the thing I love most in this world, (besides writing) ? I give people tips and quips that they never knew. Another stylist never took the time to let them in on the secrets.
Not to mention how often does that single lady get her head massaged? How often does the teen feel so good about themselves, because they are just stuck and trying to grow up and figure out who they are? How often does the 70 year old man have someone trim his eyebrows and ear hair, because his wife passes away and is no longer there to do it.
I could write forever about why I love these things I do all day. I am the luckiest career chick in the world.
Miranda Lambert has always been an artist I liked. Not crazy infatuated with or anything but we blonde chicks with guns must stick together.
The story is music artist Chris Brown beat up his girlfriend Rhianna a few years ago. And now the dude has won a grammy that somehow made his head swell. Miranda did exactly what I would do and made a poster for one of her concerts right after the Grammy's saying "Take Notes Chris Brown" and proceeded to sing "Gun Powder and Lead" a song about a woman's man making bail after he "slapped her face and shook her like a rag doll."
I never knew a celebrity twitter war would make me so mad. The dumb guy and all of his stupid fans just don't get it. If AMERICA had a legal system that considered a restraining order valid, more than a stupid piece of paper, if the cops would come when called, if the police and detective and judges even believed women and understood what we have to defend ourselves from we women wouldn't need to have a gun.
But lucky for me, I am a blonde chick like Miranda who had a daddy who taught her how to RESPECT and use a gun. I will never point it at you unless I intend to use it. Im sorry but if you're going to abuse me, or dare to break into my house, you're not leaving my sight until you're bleeding so badly and laying on the ground, and I'm standing over you yelling "YOU'RE RUINING MY CARPET DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So the stupid people on Twitter who decided to bash ME for bashing Chris Brown can learn better vocabulary words, and leave me alone. I will pray for them that someone never tries to abuse them. I also pray they find a thesaurus with the f bomb, the d and s words, etc or that their brain expands enough. Because while I can say to them "You need to grow up and realize the abuse women go through you piece of coyoote dung on the bottom of my shoe," all they can say is "I hate you I hope you die."
Real mature huh? Its people like them, that people like me need a gun to protect myself from. The police don't just magically appear like your fair god-mother. Not that she exists anyways, and if they think so thats a whole other blog.
So this is how I got involved in the twitter war, and totally took Miranda Lambert's and women's side. Now I have better things to do, like figuring out how to get my license to carry.
So here's the scoop. http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/02/chris-brown-and-miranda-lambert-twitter-feud-continues/
I desire to go on a vacation that chases tornadoes.
I am fascinated by them and when one is on tee-vee I say "OHHHHHH HOW PRETTTTTYYYYYY"
I feel I must write about my best friend. Yes she's black with four legs and fur. You see, a few years ago when I lived farther up in the U.S. I had friends set up refugee camp at mi casa from a hurricane Gustav that hit Louisiana. I didn't think my 1800 sq. ft. town home coupld support a large dog, even though I'd always dreamed of a black lab. My friends brought two dogs, one very large and I realized the day they left that I wanted a big dog!
Now a friend of my mothers had puppies. Black Lab / German Shepherd. I proceeded to go there and all 9 looked the same. One in particular would not leave me alone. She wanted to be cuddled and held. I didn't WANT a girl dog, but finally I looked at her and said "FINE THEN. Lets go to Petco."
She rode in the basket and picked out her own items. At 6 months crate training was over and she began sleeping in bed with me and the ex monster. The EX had a habit of staying up late (probably on dating websites) and then coming to bed and waking me up at 3 am to rub Ben-Gay on his back. This particular night was no different until at 5 am I hear Dixie Dog howling from downstairs. I had no idea why she was back in her crate till I let her out. THEN IT ALL CAME BACK TO ME.
In my sleep I sat up and squirted a GIGANTIC hand full of Ben Gay into my hand. The Now Ex left the room. I remember thinking, "Oh I bet Dixie needs this..." and proceeded to massage it into her. Her hips, her neck, her back etc. Then EX came in shirtless and I put some on him and I passed back out.
So my cousin who was living with us at the time found me and Dixie in her bathroom in the bath tub and I was laughing SO hysterically I couldn't even get the words out to tell said Cousin what I had done.
And Dixie still loves me. And there will be plenty more Dixie stories if y'all like em!
"You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone" STRONGER - Kelly Clarkson
What's it feel like to be a woman of 31 years and single? Am I alone? Sure as in I don't have a verbal or legal contract that I belong to someone... but I'm not ALONE. You see I have the best friends and family money can buy. Yes I had to buy them all but it was worth it.
But let's be honest, a guy will pay attention to any 25% decent looking blonde girl. So every day something absolutely BIZAAR happens to me. It could be the two guys in the pick up truck screaming "HEYYYYYY GIRL!!!!!" at me and trying to catch up with me at every red light, and me looking at them like they're complete idiots and were in 5th grade when I graduated high school. It could be the car salesman. Oh he was a doozie. Lemee tell ya. I stopped at a Chevy dealership. I was really, honestly just had to pee so bad I thought I was going to DIE, so I made my mother act like she was looking at cars while I saved my own life. I came outside and was looking at this super-hot-cool red Camaro. I love them but not enough to ever buy one even though they are super-cool-hot cars. The salesman who may have been good looking if he didn't have the "salesman attitude" approached.
"Want me to get the keys? We can take it for a ride?"
"You came all the way out here and all you want to do is look in the windows?"
"Oh you just THINK you can't buy a car. You would be surprised! We have so many companies anyone can buy a car!"
ME: "no thank you, yes I just wanted to look, and then I JUST GOT DIVORCED, HE RUINED MY CREDIT, AND I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
Car Salesman, picks his jaw up off the ground after I've practically yelled at him and he realizes I am the one person who's life is so messed up she can't buy a car. He speaks... "Sounds like someone needs to take you to dinner and a movie!:
Then I in my lovely sarcastic manner say "And I supposed you think you're that someone?? >smile<"
"My number is on that card I gave you. Thats my personal cell. Call me anytime! Please! REALLY!"
Okay how bout I call you when Im out of coffee. Please sir go get me some coffee. I'll be in my pajamas and I'll open the front door, stick my hand out and then slam the door, while yelling "THANK YOU" thru the door. No you won't get to see me. Let me just use you.
I don't have time to get into too much of the ex boyfriends. The one from high school who swears he never stopped loving me and cries on the phone to me then the next day has a girlfriend and its all over facebook. Its okay because while you were crying on the phone I had you on speaker for my best friend to hear, while we laughed until it hurt. The other ex boyfriend from age 17 who has never gotten over me and when I encounter him at events he flirts with me like crazy even as I'm cold as the iceberg the Titanic hit. So please don't call me and tell me "you dont like the way I acted towards you and it made you angry." WHAAAAAT???? I was nice. I didn't punch your face in when you tried to kiss me. I walked off instead of making your face purple. There's an ex husband who professes his undying, ever true love for me. That it will never waiver. Yeah okay, thats why you treated me like dog poop on the bottom of your shoe and you've already been living with someone else and lying to her for 6 months.
You get the general idea. So I can't go anywhere or do anything without some MAN trying to tell me things that are all fake and stupid.
Will a REAL honest one ever come along?
Wanna know my answer?
"I Dont Really Care."
They'll probably just end up a jerk face like the others. Hey though, I've realized I am so much happier without some miserable person in my life and I can do anything I want. Like a roadtrip this weekend with my best friend. THAT I am sure will have a blog post! WOOOOOO!!!!!!